Wise words from my mom (via aurelle)
She just stared for the longest time.
OMG…I love this. This is important.
v important! representation matters more than words can express
but this picture about sums it up :)
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like whatHaving both is staying in bed because you don’t want to go to school and then panicking because you don’t want to fail. Having both is wanting to go see your friends so you don’t lose them all, then staying home in bed because you don’t want to make the effort. Having both is insanely hard and sucks to deal with.
Hamza Yusuf (via slightlycaptivated)
Daughter - Human
"underneath this skin there’s a human
buried deep within there’s a human
despite everything, i’m still human
but i think i’m dying here”
I used to sit on the bus in high school with my headphones in on the lowest volume possible, afraid if they could hear it, it would bother them. I used to feel so anxious that I would cause the slightest bit of offense or discomfort in just about everyone I met.
I used to feel uncomfortable for existing.
My father died of cancer when I turned 20 and I sat in the basement and watched it. The light hurt his eyes, the tv overwhelmed him, he threw up everything he ate, so we just sat there in silence. I saw how the weight of him sank into his legs. His face and shoulders and chest a skeleton with skin clinging to it. I got to know every single way that his face changed as his counted breaths diminished. He slept and I would wait.
I would wait in that dark, silent basement watching him like a ballon being pumped with too much helium until my mom would finally come home from work and I would run to my room and burst. I would cry until I couldn’t see and my eyes were swollen shut and I would gasp for the breaths of sanity that I could scrape together in my solitude.
My father died of cancer and the hole inside my head grew. It grew and grew until it stretched me and I knew I couldn’t fit myself back into who I was before. The hole grew so big I found myself forgetting things, chunks of time. My body started to change. Panic sunk in and nights were spent sitting up with all the lights on, sleepless, clutching my chest because I couldn’t ease the ache. A year or so passed like this.
Then one day I found myself laying on the floor staring at where the wallpaper started to peel around the edge of the ceiling and I was listening to the sound of my own breathing and I realized I was still alive. The universe did not stop for me. The sun still rose and set and each day died to the next and I was still breathing I was still breathing and even though the universe didn’t owe me a goddamn thing I still had a place in it.
My dad died of cancer and I died with him, starting a new life. There is a sadness that will always sit deep within my chest, a cloud that will forever hang above my head, but even though such a large portion of my life was sadness there were those rare times I’d laugh or read a great book or make a friend smile and there is a chance I will feel that again. Tomorrow.
And it is worth it.
Yes, it is worth it.
Daniel Radcliffe (via hankgreensmoustache) —
my chinese students really love english profanity because they dont get in trouble for it
i try to just ignore it so they don’t get a reaction and keep using it
but today during a creative writing exercise, a character was arguing with a dragon, and the kids needed to decide what the character would yell
this one kid raises his hand and calmly submits his suggestion of “f*ck you, you foolish dragon motherf*cker”
i dont know its just
its difficult not to react to that
birds need to shut the hell up. if i made half the noise they did at 5 in the morning i’d be arrested